I’ve written previously about my general distrust of the media – partly fueled by growing up in the Philippines under a dictatorship. And partly, of course, is the fact that the media is controlled by people who are looking to sell more ads. And sensational stories sell.
When I first read and heard about violence against Asian Americans in the news, my first reaction even as a first-generation Filipino immigrant is that the ratio against the raw number of crimes is miniscule. After all, the national media is not covering as much about Uighurs in China, probably because it happens on foreign soil, and does not get the same clicks or views as pitting Asian Americans against Whites. And then it becomes an us-vs-them which fuels further division. Clearly that is not what America stands for.
There was also the feeling of insulation because we live in a fairly diverse part of the US. The San Francisco Bay Area is home to many Asian American immigrants. These things happen in other parts of the country. And then it happened. San Francisco has seen a spate of attacks on elderly Chinese. A Filipino American woman was attacked in San Jose. The data does not lie. There has been an increase of reports of attacks on Asian Americans, at least according to a study by the folks at CSU San Bernardino.
My first reaction is anger. These criminals must be beaten and given a taste of their own medicine. But then I always go back to the old advice that there are few things you can control. But what you can control is how you react. Anger is not the answer. I’m not condoning their actions. It’s just that there are laws on the books that outline the punishment that fits their crime. And we live in a country with due process, and I believe in that process.
And then there’s the campaign to #StopAsianHate. But what does it achieve? What about just stopping hate all together? What about stopping any crime, whether it’s against Asians, blacks, whites, women, or men? What about choosing love? I choose love. Mother Teresa once said, “I will never attend an anti-war rally; if you have a peace rally, invite me.”
It is true that all humans are biased. Our brains are wired that way. Thousands of years of evolution have not removed it, because up until a few thousand years ago, we would have had to assess predator or prey, or friend or foe in seconds, to trigger our fight or flight response. Imagine having to sort through all the characteristics every time you encounter another person or animal. You’d be dead before you make a decision. I have to admit there have been times I judged a person based on what I initially see – the way they looked, the way they dressed, and I have reacted accordingly. And it's because they're different from what I have established in my mind as "friend". I have to be better.
We are no longer in that sort of danger that our ancestors had to contend with. We are, in many ways, a civilized society. So, in choosing love, I choose to look at people as individuals, as unique human beings with fears and motivations. I will strive to treat each person individually, react based on their behavior, to take the time, and not make generalizations based on their skin color, hair style, eye shape, fashion choices, or gender, or religion. In the words sung by Michael Jackson, with lyrics by Siedah Garrett and Glen Ballard, "I'm starting with the man in the mirror."
I may not be able to change the world. But I can change myself. #IChooseLove
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