Why I’m Teaching My Kids to Drive a Stick Shift (Even If the World Has Moved On)

 

Let’s be honest—automatic transmissions today are really good. Gone are the clunky, gas-guzzling 3-speed slush boxes of yesteryear. Modern automatics are smooth, efficient, and packed with more acronyms than a government agency: CVTs, DCTs, DSGs, PDKs... you get the idea. They shift faster than any human ever could—even on a racetrack.

So with all this slick tech, why am I bothering to teach my kids to drive a manual?

1. Because I Love Driving

This one’s a bit selfish. I’m a driver—I love the act of driving. I love being connected to the car, feeling the gears engage, and choosing exactly when to shift. For me, that’s not just control—it’s joy. And while I know my kids might never become full-blown gearheads, I’m hoping at least one of them catches the bug, just a little.

2. Because Manual Forces Focus

No scientific studies here—just instinct and experience. When you're driving a manual, you can’t really zone out. You have to listen to the engine, time your shifts, and actually think about what you're doing. That means no mindless texting or spacing out at stoplights. Teaching them to drive stick is my way of building in a little extra awareness and safety.

3. Because It’s the Best Anti-Theft Device Out There

Here’s the practical reason. At some point, I’ll probably buy them cars. And let’s face it: someone’s going to try to borrow it. Or worse—steal it. But here’s the kicker: less than 5% of cars sold today have manual transmissions, and most people under 30 wouldn’t know a clutch pedal from a dead pedal. Driving stick is like having a built-in security system that also builds character.

Sure, the world has mostly moved on from manual transmissions. But for me—and maybe for my kids—it’s not just about nostalgia. It’s about connection, attention, and a little bit of security. Plus, when the zombie apocalypse hits and the only getaway car is a stick, they’ll thank me.

"You speak very good English."

This is something I have heard many times over the years, sometimes it varies, but always the same theme.  I invariably follow it up with, “Thank you.”  Sometimes, I add, “I learned it from Sesame Street.”  I’ve always taken it as a complement.

What follows is usually a discussion about where I’m from, where I went to school, or when I moved to the US.  And it is always a pleasant exchange.  I get to talk about myself, and I also learn something about the other person.

If the conversation goes further, I say that I credit my English teachers in elementary school, especially Mrs. Cynthia Nollido, who drilled us all on tongue twisters and proper grammar.  And then there’s television and movies.  I watched a lot of American TV shows and movies growing up.  If I watched British TV, I may have picked up that accent.

Back in the 2010s, some folks on the internet, or maybe it was a sensitivity training course, told us that this was a microaggression by white folks.  Honestly, I didn’t even know what that word was until then.

But is it really?

Back in 2011, I overheard a white guy speaking my native language, Tagalog.  Naturally curious, I asked him how he came to speak and write fluently.  It turns out, he spent five years as a missionary in the Philippines, and even more surprisingly, he stayed in a city very close to my hometown. 

And then you watch many videos of XiaomaNYC on YouTube – a white guy learning other languages and speaking in front of native speakers.  You will see a similar reaction from the people he speaks to: curiosity, surprise, but it was never discriminatory.  And this is the same whether they were Asians, Africans, Europeans, or Americans (and I’m talking about continents here).

I would postulate that most people are curious and want to know more.  Their surprise is a pleasant one. They are excited to hear a familiar language, especially if it’s coming from someone they weren’t expecting to speak it.  In the case of XiaomaNYC, most of them even praise him for trying, or for sounding so good, not unlike the comment, “You speak very good English.”  

And then there’s the occasional comment of, “your accent is very neutral.”  Again, I would take this as a complement, and nothing else.  The same teacher, Mrs. Nollido, stressed proper pronunciation, speaking clearly, so that we may be understood.  And so I hope I am making her proud when I speak clearly and pronounce words correctly.

With the dawn of Business Process Outsourcing in the Philippines, companies offered accent reduction classes.  People thought nothing of it.  Of course, you want to sound better on the phone, so that the person on the other end will understand you, especially if they are native English speakers.  People who take Mandarin classes are also taught proper pronunciation so that native Mandarin speakers can understand them.

Even Stanford Continuing Studies has a class called “Accent Reduction for Non-Native English Speakers”.  The goal of course, is to be able to convey your thoughts clearly, and be understood.

So is it really a microaggression to say, “your English is very good,” or “your accent is very natural”?

I took a class at Stanford Continuing Studies on Executive Presence, ran by Tracy Wilk and JeanAnn Nichols.  One of the concepts they talked about was, “assume good intent.”  It helps you think about how to react better to any situation, especially in business or personal interactions.  And I think people who say this genuinely have good intent.  They are curious.  They are paying you a complement.

And even if they have bad intent, the other lesson from stoicism is, “focus on what you can control.” You can’t control how other people act or feel, so focus on yourself, how would you react?  And I think taking these as complements would be better for you.